Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
- Ephesians 3:19 -
I recall as a teenager I went on an orienteering race in one of the nature parks.
Dressed in running gear, we were provided with maps, compasses, coordinates, and clues. But did I use them? No! Off I raced using my sense of space and position to reach the destination in first place. But it didn’t take too long before I was wandering around in circles and heading in exactly the opposite direction. I made it to the eventual destination, but about one to two hours later than everyone else.
This illustrates modern dating. People are finding love every day. Yet the journey is taking considerably longer. Many people are not getting married until later in life — 30s and 40s. In past generations, the trails were clearer, but now we are forging through the wilderness with no equipment and no guide. We are making it, but we’re getting lost and messed up along the way.
The rules of dating have become ambiguous and uncertain. Dating should be associated with words like fun, exhilarating, and uplifting. But far too often, the words I hear associated with dating are sad, exhausting, and stressful.
Much of the distress today has been caused by the lack of any intentional dating process. Notice I say process—the word implies movement. Dating should be a series of actions toward a predetermined end. It is not a Facebook status you stay in without any momentum. It’s meant to be a process of evaluation that has an endpoint — a destination called marriage.
This process is characterized by timeless principles rooted in the character and love of God. Note I call them principles, not steps. Steps would be easier — just follow the instructions and you’ll be happily married! Dating does not work this way as relationships are too dynamic. Dating is more like sailing across the ocean than assembling a product. Steps won’t work when you are crossing the ocean on a boat. You cannot get turn-by-turn directions because the environment is constantly changing. Who knows what storms you will encounter along the way?
Principles, however, can save your life at sea. Knowing how to chart according to the stars, or how to use a compass, or how to follow a map, can see you through. In the same way, your principles in dating can help you handle any challenge that comes up. That information will get you from the shores of singleness to the port of marriage.
Over the final two days, I will cover key principles of dating that will require you to have your head and heart in the game. It will take work but this work will become an adventure (albeit with risks) that make it worth the effort. These guiding principles - if you apply them to your dynamic dating environment - will lead you safely through the tempestuous waters of dating.