We love because he first loved us.
- 1 John 4:19 -
Do you want to be a source of life for your family, friends, the person you are dating—and the person you will eventually marry? Then you need a source of life.
Love embraced becomes love extended. It is the natural outworking of being first loved by God. When you have the source of life, then you can be a source of life.
1 John 4:19 says, “We love because he first loved us.” When God is your source of life and love, then you are not only able to live life well, but offer this life and love to others.
In John 4, Jesus explained how each of us has a deep longing in our souls to be loved. Jesus was talking to a woman at a well, and at one point He said to her, “You have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband” (vs18). He also said, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and, he would have given you living water” (vs10).
Jesus is saying the only satisfaction for the longing in this woman’s soul is found in God, the source of life, and not in any human relationships.
When you use a dating relationship to validate yourself, it only leads to draining the life out of the other person. This is how toxic dating relationships are formed and why so many go astray. When you bring God-sized needs to other human beings, there is no way they can meet those needs. Nor can you offer them unconditional love on the days they are struggling, because they are the ones who represent your source. But when God is your source, it becomes the most natural thing in the world to let His love flow through you and into the person you are dating.
So before you date and before you choose to marry your mate, you need to be meeting with your Maker and forming a relationship with Him. It is in the stability of walking with Christ that you have the resources to bless the person you're dating.